From time to time, I think that all of us have taken a good look in the mirror, and said “WOW! Interesting path my life has decided to take.” If you haven’t, I am impressed.  Or you are lying. We will go with impressed though.

No matter what circumstance changed your intended life plan, we have all sat by ourselves wondering what steps to take next.  It doesn’t have to be infertility.  It can be anything important to you that made you stop in your tracks and take a deep breath.  That moment can be lonely.  You are sitting on an island trying to figure out how to get moving again, and it is an isolating feeling. How do you move forward? There are TONS of inspirational quotes.  I have an extensive Pinterest account to attest to this.  There are TONS of self-help books.  I may have a couple of book reviews coming up to attest to this!

I feel like this is where faith kicks in.  I am a Christian. This fact has shaped how I view everything in my life.  At least, I hope that it has.  I am a work in progress.  I feel that our God can handle our anger.  I was SO VERY ANGRY WITH GOD when we lost Sophie last summer. The only reason I survived the summer of 2017 was that I had a mess load of amazing people praying for me.  Being lonely, being hurt, and being ANGRY, made me back up and take a little time out from God.  At the time, I wasn’t worried if He could handle it.  But, He can.  I believe that there are differing views about this subject out there.  But, I’m thankful to have surrounded myself with a therapist, a minister, family, and some pretty cool friends, that think God can handle us anyway we are.  Even if our heart beats with anger over a tragic heartbreak.

Years ago, right after our very first miscarriage, I turned to scripture.  I was an anxious mess!  Through tears, I picked out five bible verses and wrote them down.  I put this note card in the top drawer of my night stand.  There were years when I looked at this daily, and there were years when a once a week check would suffice.  As you can see, it has been torn, cried on, and had coffee (shocker!) poured all over it.  This sweet little notecard is proof that God is with me.  Sometimes it may not feel like it.  But He is.

If you are down on your luck right now, in ANY WAY, know that God can handle your anger.  I’m over my anger, but God and I are going to have big ol’ discussion when I get up to Heaven.  He has lots of explaining to do.  That is, of course, after I greet the football team of children I have yet to meet. 😊

I have been so blessed by texts, emails, and Facebook messages from women that have walked a similar road as mine.  If you are currently going through a struggle right now, please let me know. I would love to pray for you. I’m loving this community that we are building.